Until you have gone through a break-up or divorce you may not have had to identify who you were aside from that person. You may have even thought everything about that person was exactly in alignment with you are and your desires. That is until the d-word happens. I was divorced twice and currently in my third and final marriage in Jesus name! The Bear aka Stanley is the absolute love of my life.
This does not mean that there are no trials or that its roses and hearts each day….No what it means is that there are two committed people who began as friends and remain great friends through it all. The cool thing about friendship is the mutual respect and encouragement to own your junk and grow as a whole individual aside from your mate. This is why I don’t believe in spouses being better halves, I say two wholes becoming one. So when a relationship ends and both parties were all in, what’s next?
Below, I share 8 ways to regain your footing after a break up and eventually discover #HowdoYoulikeYourEggs
- Separation and Alienation: While people should not choose sides when parties split, they often do. Don’t hold it against them, everyone is human and the best thing to do is to not place anyone in a position where they feel as if they need to choose. #TeamGrowUp
- You will have to discover who you are apart from that person. You are no longer Mrs. or Mr. X or Y, no you had an identity well before you connected with that other person and you have one now. #ReDiscoverYOU
- Expect and allow a grieving process even if it was your idea to end the relationship. #AllEmotionsMatter
- How do YOU like YOUR eggs? Scrambled, Boiled, Poached or Over Easy? You will find out that there are a lot of things you began to ignore that you really liked and chose to no longer do simply because the other person did not co-sign. My husband loves all sports and he watches them year round; I only watch Professional football and then some Olympic events. Neither of us changed our preferences, when he is watching sports I pop in an old Columbo DVD and all is right in both worlds. #HowDoYouLikeYourEggs #FindOut
- Learn to truly enjoy your own company as you both grieve and heal. Don’t rush it! #GoToTheMoviesSolo #EatDinnerOutSolo
- Record your Journey in a Journal! The good, the bad, the OMG! Yesss….journal it all! #WritingHeals
- Implement a Zero Slander Policy of the other party no matter what you hear or see! #QueenCode #KingCode
- Own your part of the break up! No finger pointing, own your junk and call it what it is. No pretending allowed. #ItsMeNotYou #WeAllHaveFlaws
Lady “V”, Vaughnchette Rudisill